Well, well, well, darlings. It seems Etsy, that bastion of handcrafted whimsy and overpriced macramé plant hangers, has decided to go all Mary Whitehouse on us. In a move that’s about as welcome as a wasp at a picnic, they’ve announced a new “mature content” policy that’s got more holes than a crochet bikini.
From July 29, 2024, Etsy will be waving goodbye to anything remotely saucy. No more naughty knick-knacks, saucy slogans, or risqué representations. It’s as if they’ve decided to rebrand as “Etsy: The Puritan Edition”. One can almost hear the collective gasp of horror from the LGBTQ+ community, who’ve long found a home for their fabulous, fierce, and occasionally frisky creations on the site.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for keeping things above board. But this new policy feels about as nuanced as a sledgehammer in a china shop. They’re lumping together everything from harmless novelty items to genuine art, all under the banner of “won’t somebody please think of the children?”. It’s enough to make one reach for the smelling salts.
The irony, of course, is that Etsy has long prided itself on being the cool aunt of e-commerce – the one who’d slip you a cheeky fiver and wink conspiratorially. Now, it seems they’ve decided to don a twinset and pearls, clutching their metaphorical pearls at the mere thought of a risqué tea towel.
One can’t help but wonder if this is less about “community safety” and more about appeasing the pearl-clutchers and prudes. It’s a move that smacks of corporate cowardice, wrapped up in a pretty bow of faux concern.
So, what’s next for Etsy’s creators? Will we see an exodus of artists fleeing to more accommodating platforms? Or will we witness a renaissance of double entendres and coded language that would make a Victorian blush? Only time will tell, darlings. But one thing’s for certain – Etsy’s new policy is about as popular as a pork pie at a vegan buffet.